So I have been recently really thinking about my long term goals. A lot has come up as part of that because I have some future plans that are already in play. I am going to be going back to England in May for about 2 weeks as well as going to school in the near future. With that comes a lot of planning, and saving money. But one of the biggest factors that has been on my mind is my weight (no pun intended).
When I did go to college right after high school, I was not in the right place mentally, due to other circumstances. I ended up failing, well I didn’t just fail, I also quit. I wasn’t doing well in classes and sometimes not even attending any classes. Something I have never really admitted to, but the reason I disliked going to class so much was because I didn’t fit. I don’t mean personality wise, literally, I didn’t fit in the desks or chairs. Not only was it absolutely humiliating, it was also extremely uncomfortable. This is not what I want to happen again. I like learning, in fact, I love it. So I will do anything I can to help give my self the chance to learn and grow, or in my case, shrink!
I also want to loose a good amount of weight before leaving for England because I feel so much better being lighter and healthier, and I want to be able to give this trip my full attention and be present and in the moment. If I weighed the same that I do now when I leave for England, I know I will not feel good, mentally or physically.
So those are the 2 big events coming up in the near future that are weighing on me right now, and I am stressed out! For me stress usually turns to a binge, so that why I am here, and while this post might not be the most well structured. Writing has definitely helped me process my stress, eating or binging would have just added more stress and compacted it down until a binge happened.
And thats all I have to say for now, I am possibly looking to different medically supervised fasts, like optifast. If you have any experience with these types of fasts, let me know in the comments! See you on Friday!