So as you can tell I have a pretty big topic to talk about today. I was hesatint posting about this topic, because it can be controversial. Then my aunt reminded me that this blog is here to keep me accountable and help me keep track of my progess. Also a place where I can be brutaly honest, so here we go.
If you have read any of my past entries recently, you would know that I am having a hard time loosing weight as well as managing my addiction to food. With that said I have been doing much better, and am so much healthier than I was a year ago. Things arent moving as fast as I would like, and it’s not like im talking about somthing unimportnat, or something that I can take time resolving.
I feel like with every bite I take I am playing russian roulete with my life, that may seem like I am being dramatic or over exaggerating. I probably am, but maybe that’s how I need to see what is going on, in order to change my habbits. Honestly? I am kind of fed up with my behaviors and my realtionship to food, and have decided to take a drastic step in order to change my life.
After contemplating for a long time and discussing it with family members, I have decided to take part in the Optifast full meal replacement plan! It is medically supervised by a team of doctors, nutritionist, and therapists with weekly blood tests and exams. There is also a weekly class I will be taking, which will address my relationship with food and myself to help ease the transition back to food and regulate my weight long term. No, the weekly class won’t solve all my problems, this experience is going to require a lot of daily work on my self and behaviors and I am ready to face my self. I don’t know much more as my “orientation” isn’t until Wednesday, but I will update you when I know more.
This feels like the right decision deep in my gut. I am scared though, scared of not eating solid foods for a long period of time, scared of facing my relationship with food because it goes so much deeper than I have even begun to explore. But I am ready to conquer my weight and become a healthy and happy person with the help of this plan.
I hope all of you are having a great day and I will see you on Sunday!