Good Evening Everyone!
I just got back from my weekly doctors appointment and Optifast meeting and it went great! The doctor took me off one of my medications and I couldn’t be happier! I have noticed that 90% of my cravings and desire to eat bad, unhealthy food is gone even when I am around people who are eating.
I also went into a grocery store today for the fist time since starting Optifast, it was an eye opening experience. I really saw how much food controlled my life. Before when I went grocery shopping I would be filled with anxiety and fear. You can read more about that in this post. This time it was different, I was nervous and it was hard seeing all this food that I used to hurt my self, and lead me to think about how I was able to convince my self that it was ok and wouldn’t damage me. I feel like I am observing my self and how my old habits affected me from another persons point of view, a healthier person’s point of view.
So enough rambling, I weighed in today at …
I can’t believe that I am 288 lbs, I haven’t been at this weight in years and honestly I can already see the changes. My bra is getting looser, and my leggings are become unwearable because they are too baggy!
About 3 months ago, when I had just moved to California, I went to target to try and find some clothes that would fit me and I was so happy to find this plaid button down shirt that fit. At my size I don’t really have much of a selection for clothes. I have never worn the clothes that I like or that fit who I am, I have worn the clothes that I am able to fit into. That applies to this shirt, it’s not something I would have picked out if I was a normal size, but to find something remotely cute that fit made me happy on the outside. But on the inside I was hurting that I had to settle for something just because it fit.
Anyways, I put this shirt on yesterday out of curiosity, and I was drowning in it!
It was one of the best feelings I have felt so far in this journey. I can’t wait to see what happens as I keep losing!
Thank you all for reading and I will see you on Friday!