I was considering not posting today, I feel like a total mess. I was scared that if I post that I am not doing well then that will hurt one of you in some way, which is kind of ridiculous I realize. I hope sharing my experiences with my journey will help one of you out there realize that it is possible to change and create a better life, and I hope that sharing my down days will help you realize that no one is perfect and one bad day, or even a few bad days wont make you a failure or ruin your progress.
Right now I am dealing with having shingles on the right side of my scalp. The worst part of the virus has run its course and now I am left with a few scabs on my head which aren’t particularly pretty and are painful. Because of this I cant really brush my hair, so this morning after my shower I just threw my hair up into a clip, but noticed that you can still see the dark circles and scabs because my hair in the area is really thin. It’s so stupid, but this really got to me, I feel gross, and on top of this, the medicines I am on right now are making me feel totally out of it and not like my self, and that is not a fun way to feel cause I realized I like feeling like my self…lol.
So, today is apparently national doughnut day (stupidest holiday ever), so of course there are doughnuts at work. And I took one!
Yes, I have lost 91 pound so far and am a completely different person, that emotional reliance on food is still there and rears it ugly head at my most vulnerable times and I am really not a fan at the moment. Halfway through eating this doughnut, which wasn’t even good, I almost put another bite into my mouth and right before I did I snapped out it and realized what I was doing. If I took that next bite I would willfully and consciously be hurting my self and my progress and the is NOT something I want. So I threw it away, and will not being going back to that box of fried heart attacks.
The point of this confessional is just be honest, that’s why this blog is here. I am not going to let this side step derail me, instead I am going to learn from it and improve! I hope you all are doing well, thank you so much for the support I have been receiving, it means so much!
Do you guys feel like you learn about you selves during the times you have messed up? Let me know below!