I suck…and it’s ok

I was considering not posting today, I feel like a total mess. I was scared that if I post that I am not doing well then that will hurt one of you in some way, which is kind of ridiculous I realize. I hope sharing my experiences with my journey will help one of you out there realize that it is possible to change and create a better life, and I hope that sharing my down days will help you realize that no one is perfect and one bad day, or even a few bad days wont make you a failure or ruin your progress.

Right now I am dealing with having shingles on the right side of my scalp. The worst part of the virus has run its course and now I am left with a few scabs on my head which aren’t particularly pretty and are painful. Because of this I cant really brush my hair, so this morning after my shower I just threw my hair up into a clip, but noticed that you can still see the dark circles and scabs because my hair in the area is really thin. It’s so stupid, but this really got to me, I feel gross, and on top of this, the medicines I am on right now are making me feel totally out of it and not like my self, and that is not a fun way to feel cause I realized I like feeling like my self…lol.

So, today is apparently national doughnut day (stupidest holiday ever), so of course there are doughnuts at work. And I took one!Steve-Carell-Facepalm

Yes, I have lost 91 pound so far and am a completely different person, that emotional reliance on food is still there and rears it ugly head at my most vulnerable times and I am really not a fan at the moment. Halfway through eating this doughnut, which wasn’t even good, I almost put another bite into my mouth and right before I did I snapped out it and realized what I was doing. If I took that next bite I would willfully and consciously be hurting my self and my progress and the is NOT something I want. So I threw it away, and will not being going back to that box of fried heart attacks.

The point of this confessional is just be honest, that’s why this blog is here. I am not going to let this side step derail me, instead I am going to learn from it and improve! I hope you all are doing well, thank you so much for the support I have been receiving, it means so much!

Do you guys feel like you learn about you selves during the times you have messed up? Let me know below!



Author: Ruzele

I am a twenty-six year old lifestyle & health blogger / YouTuber living in Orange County California. From documenting my weight loss of 150 pounds to everyday life/healthy living, my content covers a range of topics and issues! Want to chat? Send me an email!

14 thoughts

  1. I love your honesty, your vulnerability and your willingness to share it with the world. We all have our ups and downs. You are one of the few that will confront your down days publicly. You are an inspiration. Do not forget that.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are inspirational. Thank you for being so real and sharing your story, the ups and the downs.
    I am so sorry to hear about the shingles.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You did so well throwing that doughnut away! You are feeling low and still managed to take back control in a difficult situation. You should be so proud of yourself! Shingles is horrid, my dad had it on his scalp and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so fed-up. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! I am so glad I did too, it’s like maybe I needed that moment to snap back into the right mindset and remind me why I am doing what I am doing! Haha yes, I am pretty fed up and ready to feel normal again!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You r so inspirational, because it makes me feel like I’m not the only one who struggles with this! I have learnt that i need to stop calling myself a stress eater, because it gives me an excuse to eat something when I’m stressed out. Its kind of a vicious circle.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! ❤ You are definitely not alone! That's a good point, maybe we use the labels we give our self as an excuse! You are doing awesome! Were in this together! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Ruzele baby just allow the body to heal and you will be just fine. You are way too intelligent to let a piece of “fried heart attack” ruin anything anymore – those 91 lbs lost are the work of a very hardworking, committed, honest, sorted soul and no silly virus or junk food can derail it – not now, not ever. You got this and you got this good. And as everyone has testified, it is precisely because of your not shying away from sharing the vulnerabilities as much as the victories of this journey that you continue to be our numero uno inspiration. Giant loving hug coming your way from me! Get well soon darling!😘

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I needed to read this post. I am just beginning my weight loss journey, and it’s so easy to beat myself up after a moment of weakness. It’s important to know that even after such an incredible change for you, there are still moments of weakness. It’s overcoming that weakness and being stronger for it. Which is what you did, and what I can do too. Thank you for sharing this, for showing a side that is less than perfect. Because we are all less than perfect and sometimes knowing that you’re not alone is comforting.

    I write this nearly crying over my chicken tenders that are not helping me lose weight but taste so damn good.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good for you for starting! It is so scary to make that first decision, but I promise you wont regret it!
      Thank you so much! I am really trying to take those moments where I used to beat my self up for a mistake and just learn from it!
      Sometimes tears are good, the release of those emotions you hold in does wonders! Clearly, by my example, we all eat things we probably shouldn’t, but I think those moments are there to teach us about how we can change our relationship with food!
      Thank you for your comment, and good luck on your journey, feel free to reach out or email me when ever, we are in this together! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s