Does Feeling Insecure Make Me Weak?

I am not sure how to even write this because I want and wish I was a totally confident person, who doesn’t care what people think about me. But thats just not the case right now!

The truth is that I am having a hard time right now emotionally. Part of me is scared of these changes I am making. Scared that if I finally put my self out there after always hiding under all of the excess fat that people will reject me, or won’t want to be friends with me. I know, if I put myself out there with that kind of attitude, no one will want to be around me! So I need to change that attitude and start accepting my self for who I am right at this moment. So much easier said than done. 

I am even scared putting this out there! That food addicted part of me is pushing me to go out and grab all of my comforts and drown my self in a pile of wrappers and sugar until I am to numb to realizing that I want need a life filled with health and happiness. That side of me won’t win, and won’t get its way. I am starting to let my walls down and disarm my defenses, and put my self out there into situations I don’t have planned reactions to. I am insecure, and scared because I don’t know the outcomes and I can’t plan how I will react. I am going to have to trust my self, and trust the work I have been doing will help me make those healthy decisions.


Trust isn’t something that comes easy or naturally for me, but its what I need to do. I need to trust myself, and I need to keep pushing myself. I need to let my fear drive me forward instead of paralyzing me and dragging me backwards.

“20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain

I don’t want to be disappointed with my life, or regret anything. I want to love the feeling of doing something unknown, and embrace change with open arms. So I am going to keep putting my self out there even if I am scared, and continue to make positive changes in my life. Nothing, including my self, is going to ever hold me back from living again.

I hope you guys find something in this post that can help you move forward and continue to make positive change in your life. I am so grateful for all of you, and your incredible support! I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wants for this amazing community! See you on Monday


Author: Ruzele

I am a twenty-six year old lifestyle & health blogger / YouTuber living in Orange County California. From documenting my weight loss of 150 pounds to everyday life/healthy living, my content covers a range of topics and issues! Want to chat? Send me an email!

12 thoughts

  1. I doubt if anyone is “totally confident” and I actually doubt if it is that desirable coz I feels it dangerously borders on arrogance. You my lovely are wonderful and brave and joyously human because you are admitting you are insecure and vulnerable. That is what makes you empathetic and therefore kind, understanding and affectionately accessible. I will take that any day over a super sure person. But yes I know what it means to disarm oneself after a lifetime spent building up those walls to protect oneself from the world and somewhere that becoming something to hide behind. Just goes to show that working on oneself is working on emotional/mental strengths as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow thank you so much for your comment, I am really trying to embrace and document the ups and the downs of this journey. Hopefully by doing that I cant help people realize being perfect isnt realistic and its ok to struggle, it how you react to those struggles that matters. ❤


  2. I think we all have insecurities deep down. I know part of my problem is that fear of being thin again. So we hijack ourselves in hidden ways that we don’t always recognise until later. But you are doing fantastically well, your eyes are bright and you actually look more confident with every photo. Don’t forget at sometimes confidence isn’t just a feeling though, if we trust those we would never leave the house! Confidence is also the way we walk, the way we carry ourselves and the way we keep going. You are doing an amazing job, keep going – we are all behind you 😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, I think part of me is also scared of being thin, and what sort of attention or responsibility will come with that. I am definitely starting to feel more confident, but we all have our moments! I am just learning how to deal with those and move forward, and let them empower me! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I identify with this feeling so much, and was actually just talking to some of the coaches on my team about this this morning. I’ve found that whenever I have the feeling of “maybe I shouldn’t share this… its scary,” and then share anyway, i get literally overwhelmed by the amount of support I get and people who tell me “I feel that way too.” You are not alone in your insecurities, and I am so thankful that you push through them and continue to inspire!


  4. You are a leader, you know? Leaders aren’t perfect. They make mistakes and they have doubts and it’s their humanity that makes others want to follow them in the first place. Being a leader doesn’t mean you’re responsible for the rest of us – or anyone who looks to you as a role model, etc.

    You owe yourself more than you would ever owe anyone else and it sounds to me like you’re making ALL the right moves. Challenging yourself to get out there, to do the scary stuff, to make mistakes and own them, that’s all about growth and being real. Real people scare other people because it’s like holding up a mirror. “If this (real) person is making mistakes and working on themselves, then that means *I* should be doing the same thing! I don’t want to! I’m scared! This (real) person is just a failure and I don’t need to pay attention to them! Whew! Now I feel better about myself.”

    When you follow “perfect” people you can console yourself by thinking they’re just LUCKY or they’re GIFTED or whatever – which takes the responsibility off of you to live up to such an expectation. REAL people are leaders. You are a REAL person. You are a REAL leader.

    I strongly believe that expectations are the reason for most of our unhappiness. We can’t be just like anyone else. I love your struggles, your honesty, and your quietly unfurling happiness. Thank you for continuing to share!


  5. Being able to recognize that you may not be totally confident, but still putting yourself out there and taking risks makes you so strong and brave. You are definitely not weak…keep rocking! This was a great post, I can totally relate 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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