Why I Am Grateful For Not Being Grateful

Hey everyone!

So if you haven’t noticed, gratitutde has been a hot topic for the past few posts. Its something that has been on my mind quite a lot recently. Its something I haven’t always used.

As a child and teenager I was so overwhelmed every minute with not only my own addiction to food, but then dealing with my mothers mental illness and addictions. I didn’t have time to understand what I had, let alone be grateful for it. I was wrapped up in a cycle of self pity, only focusing on what I didn’t have. That is not a good place to be.Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 8.57.29 PM.png

In some ways I am grateful for being in that place, because now I realize just how much I have to be grateful for. It’s not like I didn’t have things to be grateful for, I chose not to recognize them. It wasn’t until the death of my mother that I realized I spent so much time focusing on what I didn’t have and how that was hurting me.

So while I didn’t have the “picture perfect mother or father” or the “ideal childhood”. I had people around me that cared about me and I wasn’t able to see that in the moment. I went through a lot as a child, but I was blessed with more good people than bad. It’s hard because sometimes those bad people leave more of a mark than the good in the moment.

I want to say how grateful I am for the people that were around me as a kid, and teenager. I am sorry that I didn’t recognize everything you all did for me, I hope you know I am so grateful for every single one of you!

I am lucky that now I am able to be grateful for things in the moment. I am so incredibly Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 8.53.01 PMgrateful for this online weight loss/health community I have found, that has accepted me and supported me along this journey. Just this morning one of my youtube/Instagram/weight loss inspirations posted about me on her Instagram! Little old me being on LoseItLikeLaurens Instagram!
I was in total shock and would be lying if I said I didn’t shed a few (happy) tears over this!

Would it be going to far to say I am grateful for being able to be grateful? I think i am getting carried away!

What has been on your mind this week? Have you doing anything to push yourself? let me know below! See you on Monday!


Author: Ruzele

I am a twenty-six year old lifestyle & health blogger / YouTuber living in Orange County California. From documenting my weight loss of 150 pounds to everyday life/healthy living, my content covers a range of topics and issues! Want to chat? Send me an email!

3 thoughts

  1. hello gorgeous, I really love the way you open up more and more and let this beauty shine
    I also appreciate you sharing your pain from the past
    we do not recognise what we have, that’s so true!
    you are amazing and courageous and I am definitely grateful for people like you in this world 🙂
    I’m in a weird moment right now, lots on my mind and things going from wierd to weirder
    Alice in Wonderland like feeling
    I’m staying with it and waiting what will come of it 🙂
    will write a note today and make new video soon 🙂
    I’m so happy for you to be on this journy, thank you for sharing it!


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