As I have stated quite a few times, this blog was originally here as a place to keep me accountable. I was so low, in a way this blog was my last hope and has been such an amazing tool in my journey so far. The past two days I have struggled and I need to be brutally honest and hold myself accountable.
One of my biggest problems when I was in the depths of my food addiction was spending money on food. I got to a point where I was emptying my checking and savings account on food every opportunity I had. This has been something that I have improved upon greatly, mostly credited to the fact that I am paying rent and bills and am financially responsible. However, it is something I still struggle with.
Yesterday and today I have bought food from the vendor that comes to my workplace. Not horrible food, both days I bought a veggie plate and a salad. For the most part, it was food that is allowed on my program (I am allowed to have veggies and beans) but it had added spices and dressing and the salad had blue cheese. The biggest point is that I spent money on food when I am paying out of pocket for Optifast, and optifast is expensive. Not to mention the food had animal products in it (cheese), which supports harming animals and that is something I do not support.
This is so embarrassing, but I have found the only way that I have kept going and improving is by being 100% honest. So there it is! I thought I could have just let yesterday pass and let it be a fluke, but because I didn’t admit it and tried to just act like it was nothing, and I did it today again! Thats because I wasn’t being honest with myself, and to you guys.
I shouldn’t care what people think of me, but I do! I hope you all don’t think less of me, or less of yourself for having lapses. The most important thing I have learned in the past year and sine I started going to the lifestyle class through Optifast. Is the importance of being 100% honest, no matter how you think others may react. Being honest with yourself is the most important, and to not let yourself get caught up in your head or stuck in old routines. The most important thing is to keep a lapse from turning into a relapse.
I am holding my self accountable, I will not buy this food again, I have my Optifast and can pre make veggies at home. It isn’t necessary or helpful for me to buy food at work, and isn’t contributing to my journey and future.
What is the most important thing that you have learned on your journey so far? Let me know below ❤