So there are free fitness classes offered at my work. (yes I am in idiot for not taking advantage of them sooner!) I finally decided to go to the intro to fitness class on Thursday, even though I am no stranger to working out with people, I was nervous! But I was also so excited for this because it was another way I could improve myself and be around people who have the same goal!
One of the warm-up exercises involved using those elastic bands, and putting them around your ankles to create resistance on your muscles. As I put the band around my ankles, I looked up in the mirror and all I could think was how fat I looked. As you guys know, I am constantly working on finding things I love about myself and looking at myself in a positive way. So having this thought, and it being so loud in that moment was shocking. I actually stopped and was like, wait, did I just think that?
I continued the workout for the full hour, and it was one of the best workouts I have ever done! I am still feeling it today! I pushed myself, and was able to do all of the exercises without modifications! I was, and am, around of myself. I would be lying however, if I said I was able to dismiss that one thought I had at the beginning quickly.
Not liking myself is something I am too familiar with, I went through a period of years that I couldn’t stand looking in the mirror or any reflection. Now, I honestly do love myself and my body(most of it at least). Looking at my Instagram feed, you can tell I am OK, and kinda love, posting full body photos. Despite that, this moment, and this one thought was able to make its way to the forefront and put a damper on the rest of the day.
I have had my fair share of messing up on my food, but what do I do? I get right back on the horse and am stronger because of those moments. Maybe this was just like those moments, I have come back from that thought and realized how much I do love my body. I recognize as the skin gets looser and my body keeps changing, there will be things I don’t like an can not immediately change. So maybe this happened to strengthen my resolve and self love, and help prepare me for when those moments come!