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I Hope You Love Yourself by Jordan Brown-Guest Post

...true self-love is very different than just acceptance.

Hey everyone! I wanted to pop in here and let you guys know there will be 2 guest posts going up over the next week! I am so honored to have Jordan and Griff share their opinion on self-love and I think they both provide such an interesting perspective! I hope you enjoy! ❤

True self-love and self-acceptance are more valuable now than ever before. With constant and unrealistic media exposure to what a body “should look like,” it’s easy to lose sight of our self-worth. Personally, I have watched many blockbuster movies only to go “Damn, I don’t look anything like that guy. Am I even attractive?” or “That dude is in so much better shape than I am; what am I doing so wrong?” These thoughts always lead to the all too familiar feelings of self-doubt, which leave you wondering if you were ever “good enough” in the first place. Maybe this has happened to you? Maybe a magazine has made you feel this way? Maybe a show on TV? What about someone complimenting someone else on their looks? Has that ever set you off? The point is, yes, true self-love is more important than ever, but it’s becoming more rare than ever, especially in light of the ever-growing media.

What, exactly, do I mean by true self-love? In my opinion, the best definition for true love is this: An “unconditional, positive regard for someone, or something.” The keyword here is unconditional. What this means is that regardless if things are going well or bad, you always have a high regard for whatever it is that you love. So, how do we apply that to loving ourselves?

We all know the “acceptance” movements that are all over the Internet that argue you should “love your body in all forms!” It’s important to note that I’m a huge fan of “acceptance” in the right circumstances, but true self-love is very different than just acceptance. So how do we apply that to loving yourself? Many people would be quick to tell you that they love themselves in all forms, and I love that. The danger here is that there’s a big difference between self-acceptance and self-love. The media’s hyper aggressive push to promote their definition of beauty has left many of us scrambling to find a safe place where we can feel confident about ourselves and how we look. Unfortunately, the result of this scramble has left some of us in a state of self-acceptance, rather than self-love.

The key difference between the two is this: Self-acceptance is passive; it requires that you to take no other action than what you’re doing right now. On one level, there is nothing wrong with that. What I mean is that everyone should be happy and comfortable with who they are right now. However, you are meant to do and achieve much more than what you’re doing now, and that’s where self-love comes in. Self-love comes from a place of understanding all of your successes, but, more importantly, your failures. Self-love comes with a complete confidence that no matter what you try, you will always view yourself positively, even if you’ve failed. Self-love means that you don’t demean yourself for having tried and failed. This type of self-love is precisely what we need more of in life.

Self-acceptance can scare us into a place of complacency. I mean, if we’re so eager to tell everyone that we’re happy with the way our body is now, we will avoid the chance at changing it, especially if we fear that we will look like a hypocrite. You don’t have to stay the same way you are right now to keep loving yourself, and because you decide to make a change NOW doesn’t mean you didn’t love yourself THEN. Stephen R Covey said once that love is a verb; it’s continual. You can still push yourself to change, to do all the things you dream of doing, and still love yourself. LOVING YOURSELF DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STAY THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. It actually means quite the opposite. Remember, self-love comes from changing, from being willing to try something that will grow you and recognizing you’ll still respect yourself no matter what happens.

You are a beautiful person. I really mean that, honestly. I don’t have to meet you or even see you to know that you can accomplish great things in this life and move yourself toward your dreams. But we have to be daring and open enough to push ourselves! You ARE worthy of the things you dream of, and you ARE worthy of loving yourself as you change and grow. You are by nature, a dynamic human being, meant to learn and change as life changes with you. Life is going to constantly bring you new trials and tribulations. Self-love comes from attacking those trials and recognizing you can love the person you are NOW, just as much as you can love the person BEFORE. It’s interesting to note that science defines death as something that no longer changes!

I challenge you to do something that will grow you. Call the person you’ve been wanting to ask out, apply for a raise at work, tell off that person who’s been bugging you. Only you know what the biggest task ahead of you is, and I would challenge you to tackle it, rather than move away. More importantly, however, I would challenge you to be ok with the result, even if it’s not what you wanted. Loving yourself comes not from appreciating the good things about you, but understanding the bad along with the good, and realizing you’re still ok. Maybe they don’t call back, maybe you don’t get the raise, maybe telling someone off is a lot worse than you though it would be– it’s OK! At least you took the chance to make improvements in your life! You’re just as worthy of love for having tried and failed. Again, I would challenge you to take that next step in life, and be ok with yourself, whatever the result. You are a beautiful person, no matter what.

It’s been an honor to be able to write to you guys, and I sincerely, sincerely, hope you’ve been able to take some value out of what I’ve written. You truly are capable of changing and loving yourself through the successes and the failures. Remember, how important it is to love yourself enough to change! Again, thank you guys so much!

Much love,

-Jordan

 

About the author

Jordan Brown is a certified personal trainer and holistic lifestyle coach, with over 4 years in Jordan About the Authorthe health and fitness industry. After years of reflection, self-study, meditation, and practice, he’s learned the importance of understanding one’s self, and seeks to spread that awareness in whatever he does. He feels conviction and passion about reconnecting people, and teaching them how to love and accept all, including themselves.

If you struggle with food/sugar addiction and don’t know where to turn, please visit www.sugarfreedomrevolution.com There you will receive a free report on sugar addiction in addition to a comprehensive sugar addiction quiz. Discover your level of food addiction and what you can do about it.

5 comments

  1. Great share. But I think too much is made out of “self-love” – there is really no need to be this loving of oneself constantly coz we need to cut our individual and collected bloated egos to size. If you are doing the right things you will not need to make efforts to love yourself. Lack of self-love and that for others simply implies a lack of intelligence, growth & maturity in one’s development as a person and as a society. Fix the problem, not the symptom.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with the above comment in that we oftentimes indulge in too much self-pity, but I believe that Jordan’s point is that we need to accept ourselves in the moment while trying to better ourselves. I have coached hundreds of clients that find themselves dancing with a poor self-image which then breeds self-contempt. I have found that when they can look past their current circumstances and love themselves WHILE taking action they stay on the wagon and ultimately change their lives. True self love morphs into successive personal development.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I fully get the insistence on positivity and it is much needed to conquer our demons like say poor self image etc – what I don’t always get is this “accept yourself” business and how it must manifest itself. It has just become one of those oft-used/abused terms these days that sounds as if we get it when we may not have at all. It is an issue of praxis. The self-acceptance could then swing wildly between resigned to be as flawed as one is to haughty preachy self-assuredness. Instead if we only learnt why it was important to be empathetic and accepting of diversity that we would learn to love ourselves. Anything else assumes that we can learn to love & respect ourselves in isolation of loving & respecting others (meaning, celebrating difference & heterogeniety). Why must we bow down to impossible standards set by a deranged demeaning world including of self-styled fitness gurus & godmen? Dignity is the key – of self and others, otherwise we shall be prone to all the mindgames that a cruel competitive conflict-ridden market-driven world tends to subject us to. Personal development without societal change is ultimately delusional and terribly farcical.

      Liked by 1 person

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