The Companion Diaries

I recently posted a video to my youtube channel called “3 Things I Know To Be True About Emotional Eating” while my views and subscriber count are lacking, I got a great response from people I know personally. I am very proud of the video and worked really hard on it, but there is just a limit on how deep you can get within a video. So I got to thinking, why not create a blog post to go along with each topic video, going into more detail and personal experience with the subject? And The Companion Diaries are born! So in tandem with each topic video I post, there will be a companion blog post here. Finalizing my thoughts and experiences on the topic. I love the idea and am really excited, I hope you guys enjoy!

#ThrowBackThursday: The Road Trip

So with all the hashtags and social media fads out there, its hard to keep up. But one that I participate in religiously on my instagram is ThrowBack Thursday. So every Thursday I will be posting a new photo, with a great story accompanying it.

This weeks #ThrowBackThrusday comes to you courtesy of the longest car ride of my life:

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That right there is my cousin, Carolann (for all intensive purposes, my sister) and our husky mix, Kayia. This was taken during a six hour car ride from Park City to Colorado. No, Kayia isn’t practically on top of Carolann by choice. This particular road trip took place inside a very small five seat rental car, which wouldn’t be daunting in its self. Add five people, two dogs and all of our luggage and it becomes a packed subway car.

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You would think stuffing all of us in this small car and sending us on our six hour journey would produce plenty arguments and bickering, but you would be wrong. There was hardly enough room to move your arm, the thought of working up enough stamina and energy to argue or fight went out the window the second we stuffed our selves into the car. So this was Kayia’s solution to the space issue, just use our heads as pillows. Hey, if this whole gym thing doest work out I could always join a clown car circus act.

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So thats it for this weeks #ThrowBackThursday. Do you have any road trip horror stories?

Overweight And Among The Fit

You know how life can sometimes be so ironic you can’t help but giggle? This is the description of my life recently. Through my journey of improving my life, one of my goals. No, one of my requirements was that I find a job. Because how am I going to improve myself without working, right? So I was going through my daily routine of focusing on my food, and going to the gym, when like a hero swooping in to save the damsel in distress, I saw it. “Now Hiring: Part time floor staff needed, apply at the front desk“.

This was it, the sign from the universe, the next step on my journey. So I applied, and I got the job! Life was great, things were finally working in my favor. I went in for training and, while the job seemed a little physically demanding, I was ready for it. Then came my first shift. I can tell you confidently, this was the most physically demanding 6 hours of my life, from the re-racking weights, to walking the track and organizing the fitness corners, and cleaning each and every fitness machine and placing them in their correct spot. I was not prepared, mentally or physically for this.

Halfway through the shift, I found myself in the bathroom, crying, hair stuck to my scalp from sweat, ready to give up and quit. When I looked at myself in the mirror, and the thoughts of self loathing or criticism didn’t surface. But an overwhelming sense of love and responsibility flowed through my veins. Love for my self and who I am, love and gratitude for what I had already accomplished. Responsibility to my self and to my future, to keep going and keep pushing my self no matter what. To not give up, because giving up on this job, would mean giving up on myself, on my potential, and on my future. That wasn’t an option for me. So right then and there I promised myself I wouldn’t give up my dream, of being happy. I realized that I might have to go through some not so fun experiences in order to reach that, and thats ok, as long as I am always moving forward and contributing in some way, to improving my life and creating a better future.

So here I am, one week in to my new job, and I have found a great sense of love and appreciation in the work, I look forward to going to my job and I am no longer counting the hours till I get to go home (most of the time). I’m not perfect, there are times when I don’t want to go, but I remember the promise I made to myself, and I commit to going. Not only do I commit to going, but I commit to enjoy every minute of it, because for me, it is much easier to find the good in life, then ruminate in the negative.

So that is my challenge to you, find something in your life that you don’t enjoy, and make a conscious decision to enjoy it, find something within that activity that makes you happy and hold on to that. Let me know how you do in the comments below!

An Introduction

One year ago, my “normal” was sleeping as late as I possibly could, dreading the coming day before I even got out of bed…if I got out of bed. I was stuck in an endless cycle of emotional and binging eating, self loathing, and deep depression. Bottom line, I was miserable, unhealthy and unhappy. I let my self get to that point and it was “easier” for me to say I didn’t care. I knew deep inside that I wasn’t happy, I doubted that I could change, but knew that I could try. This didn’t come right away, the motivation came in waves, each one stronger than the last. Like the volume on the radio, in the other room,  was being continually increased until you couldn’t hear your self think. I had the motivation, it was definatly there and I had gotten so sick and tired of hearing it, but not acting on it. There wasn’t a specific moment where the light bulb flicked on, it was gradual, leading to where I am now and the decision to change everything about my life, for the better.

My name is Ruzele, I am 20 years old an live in Utah with my family. I am currently working, and planning on going back to college fall semester of 2015 to study new media and marketing. This blog is to document my experience of changing what my definition of normal is. I am on a new found journey of weight loss and becoming healthy and happy. I also have a youtube channel where I post vlogs and videos chatting about different subjects. I hope that you will join me on this journey to becoming happy, don’t hesitate to leave comments/ suggestions for me, as I am new to this.

xx

-Ruzele

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